Straight Talking Spin Doctors

That leftist sustainability scam is just more of their worn-out take from the rich and give to the poor

This leveling of the market playing field will encourage competition and lower consumer prices

We will never confuse such evil murderers and terrorist thugs with these honorable freedom fighters

Our CEO is transitioning out to pursue other opportunities and to spend more time with his family

Counsel has advised us that department policy prohibits my commenting on ongoing investigations

We must preserve the sanctity of marriage and provide prayer, not sex education, in our schools

Its not the puppeteering of oil-rich countries - Its the right thing to do in the global war on terrorism

Trying once again to further its vast hidden agenda, the biased liberal media has twisted our remarks

To preserve our heritage, we must strive to replace these activist judges with strict constructionists

Compassionate conservatism is sacred-duty-bound to emphatically reject this global land mine treaty

Yellow terrorist-coddlers who do not support our troops: You’re either with us or we’re against you

Wouldn’t you feel nobler bravely staying the course, not cutting and running like say French cowards?

Ours is a society based upon the rule of law - but we can quietly deny funding to selected statutes

Being at war requires exceptionally wide, covert government activities to obtain private information

Failure to pass this bill will put our brave troops at risk and bring great guilt and shame upon us all

Government intervention is always to be avoided – But, these banks are simply too big to fail

Market competition will ensure that ours remains ThE Finest Health Care System ever on ThE planet

Expensive and unnecessary regulations based upon dishonest junk science are simply evil job-killers

Local Control enables MultiNats controlling the resources to make our optimum economic decisions

No outside intervention will be tolerated during our preemptively-defensive invasion of liberation

These eco-loco fringe schemes are foolish, unnecessary and costly in terms of jobs and money

I say to my Soft-On-Defense opponent: This noble Crusade is not some Vietnam-style quagmire

We must stop these evil killers over there or soon we will be fighting them right here at home

Our Coalition of the Willing proved ready to step up and do the right thing to defend freedom

Actually, the existence, causes and any real effects of climate change are still an unproven theory

It is well-understood that death by friendly fire does occur and, though sad, is inevitable

But, our regrettable collateral damage must not be conflated with their slaughter of innocents

Jesus protects me from guilt, shame and squishy flip-flopping on any decision we make together

We must repeal this Death Tax that liberal nannys waste on funding unconstitutional social programs

Look, we are calling for a simple troop redeployment and that is, in no way, some cowardly retreat

We support market-driven energy independence via generous ethanol, oil and coal industry subsidies

We can all point to our recent legislation increasing debt without raising taxes as a bipartisan victory

I obtained my post-congress lobbying position due to my expertise...not for my legislative favors

High gas prices are devastating working families and require that we deregulate and grant tax breaks

We are unable to compete globally being hobbled by those ponzi pension obligations we promised

We will never permit their brave sacrifice in our <egotistic, immoral and illegal> wars to be in vain

Set Our Rulers Free Of Our Servitude

Said the price of freedom had to be eternal vigilance and war is an immutable part of our genetics

Said there is no other choice but blood sacrifice and no alternative but to go off and fight: For them

Said we got to be ever ready or our enemies will be upon us: Attacking, slaughtering and enslaving us

Said the bad guys are always on the verge of reigning over us in an unholy and totalitarian terror

Well now, who would the losers really be, in the long run, if all their projected fears came true?

Let’s say we don’t fight, but just peacefully resist until they kill us all. OK, where will they be then?

Who would do the good work keeping the world running safe and warm, supporting their delusions?

Who’d farm the scorched earth for nothing and rebuild their bombed arms factories for a pittance?

We could leave them alone and let them see how far they get and how long they would really last

Let their greed, violence and anger be the sole driver in developing our precious humanity

Leave them alone at each other’s lying throats, without us to convince, manipulate and sacrifice

Let their violent genes and selfish traits monopolize so only their gifted spawn enjoy what happens

What is our real loss after being slaves to the selfishly-vacuous fantasies of mouthy control freaks?

Really, to what end does this eternal and vicious cycle based upon their sociopathic needs continue?

So, how long will the manipulators remain without legions of honest and hard-working minions?

Wait…Perhaps a better world would emerge given the final and pure ascendancy of their kind: LoL

Maybe…But, without the cheering crowds, cheap labor and vast armies, wont their game grow dull?

For with no audience to listen and no subjects to control, what, then, is the real point of their lives?

And who would now perform the myriad of mundane tasks which have always been beneath them?

And, in the end, what have we, the passive, patient drones, actually lost in tossing off our serfdom?

Gosh, there’d be no writers for their clever and well-delivered hot air speeches – and no audience

Clearly, propagandizing only to each other without legions of cheering supporters won’t satisfy them

So their genocides and purges would only wipe out their own kind: Wow, that would be truly terrible!

Right… Can’t you just picture them painfully bent over in the rice fields, with no peasants to rule?

So why bring up more good kids in honest poverty to be sacrificed to their petty, ego-driven disputes?

Go on about your real business and leave them to stand up for themselves against their own vile kind

And should they call upon you for god, family and country, force them to lead in real battle as well

Really, give them the entire world and see just how they adjust to the new necessity of honest work

So, let’s set them free of the addiction to our slavery to feed their attention-seeking insecurity

Liberate them like the parents of twentysomething drug addicts – by not supporting their habit

Yup, the tough love of having them do their own lowlife tasks might even have some benefit

And if that doesn’t fix things, well, we wont be left still suffering from their cankered obsessions

Stop feeding their eternal and hopeless need to fill the insecurity that threatens them so much

An end to their marketed catchphrases and expensive slogans meant to enslave our imaginations

Grant them their freedom from our servitude and maybe we can finally actualize our own potentials

It’s the destructive co-dependency of the honestly-faithful and the amorally-insecure that must end