What Me Worry?

Alfred E. Neuman

Dead trees and record heat, despoiled oceans and filthy skies – Its just part of gods mysterious plan

Hey, I’m OK with eroded soil, fouled drinking water, poisoned rivers, acid seas and clearcut forests

Let’s carry on with the over-population, fetal heavy metal and patriotic outsourcing for fat bonuses

Be guided by myopic greed, shun all regulation, let rigged free market oligarchies chart our course

You can keep on postponing the tough entitlement decisions and ignoring our decaying infrastructure

Yes, let the loud, black-and-white neo-traditionalists spin us on with slick, simple and angry tirades

Dont raise taxes, lower benefits or decrease waste: Spend more, cut taxes and label it bipartisanship

Right On to failing education, multi-generational welfare, industrial agriculture and more acid rain

It’s OK, I can handle mass extinctions, loss of habitat, climate refugees and nitrogen overdosing

Dieoffs, blights, epidemics, famines, droughts and whatever pestilence can’t even get on my nerves

I’m not obsessing over berserk military spending or my leaders tuning out to their private saviors

So, just why should I fret over coral bleaching, polar bears, rare earths, nitrates or fish changing sex?

I’m compartmentalized via the media hypnosis of ignorance used for control and truth thru repetition

Don’t you think I even notice them leaching pesticides, mercury, PCBs or toxic fracked water

Tortured cattle, poisoned pigs and crippled chickens don’t affect my appetite for good cheap meat

To me, their happy psalm of eternal 3% economic growth is more than some pyramid scam ad jingle

I’m detached from other’s lifelong poverty, drugged child soldiers and the juvenile sex slave trade

Not one abused Chinese peasant worker or languishing Darfurie ever makes it onto my personal radar

I don’t neurotically fix on razed rain forests, toxic aquaculture or vast seas of floating plastic litter

Anyways - So What about them dead albatross and dolphin tithed to us as factory fishing bycatch?

I’m good with soaring deficits and slashed programs as more tax cuts for the rich drain down upon me

Why should I really care if tuna disappear and tigers pad only through their own shit in crowded zoos?

Lack of sustainability don’t bother me and I can ignore every orphan’s plight with equal equanimity

Whats to worry if 40% of our kids are born as bastards and way over half cant read even the big print?

Sure, it’s fair and balanced to solve the complex issues facing us via rigged polls of ignorant voters

Since we are all dumbed-down, amoral and angry there’s no reason for it to bother us individually

I prune overwhelmingly complex alternatives by just keeping it locked on their comforting Either/Or

Failing monsoons, melting glaciers, spreading deserts and thawing methane ice – Hey, It’s all good

Frivolous fashion reports, corporate sports updates and phony entertainment news are my compass

My hypertension, high cholesterol and diabetes-causing obesity don’t rile my spiritual composure

No way do I set there and worry about the Wall Street central planners of my fast food lifestyle

The lucrative government industry of death and destruction known as war caint rile me up no more

Our insane divinely-ordained population growth wont shake my focus on that big weekend coming up

See if I lose sleep cause I toil for childish one-trackers who patronize me to their own insecure ends

What, me worry over all those as-yet unnoticed problems I nurture 24x7 but can never hope to solve

Even uncontrollably spinning down into some like black hole of whatever eternal void cant alarm me