Suck It Up And Bend Over Right-Winger

you just stand up straight now and take the medicine like you’ve always so abrasively made others do

keep idling way cool in them shoddy, supersized SUVS sipping your overpriced lattes on your cell

remain blind to the rest of the world as you stand proud, ignorant and alone, braying bad English

think: you pathetic, porcine morons have elected crews of phony, lying bastards your entire lives

hey, go ahead and get born again, in fact, why don’t you just get reborn again, bunches of times?

mouth those newly-minted Traditional family Values™ drilled into you by their media mouthpieces

step on up to those green and guilt-free 300 horsepower $60k hybrid foreign crossovers, sucka

rightwing plutocrats fooled you so many times, yet you still believe you look down on them squishes

just stay bent over, this takes some time and you may feel like maybe a little bee sting, up there

now don’t get rude, angry or obnoxious, after all, you pre-approved it all, at your Refi closings

don’t forget your blanket endorsement of that secret inner circle of smirking NeoTheoCons

yes, you gave those suave puppets control over every government branch, time and time again

so just quit trying to scapegoat them now and finally accept that you have only yourselves to blame

did you check under your lovely daughter’s virgin bed one more time for those missing WMDs?

maybe your under-the table, illegale gardener was selling enriched nuclear materials, too

why, you even believed those who claimed pre-emptively defensive liberations would be welcomed

you and your little friends swallowed that comic fantasy of paying for a war with their grateful oil

and with your dusty liberty at risk, you railed against a socialist welfare state, from your couch

puhleeze, direct your phony outrage up your overworked, pleasure-seeking sphincters

how bout, instead, you give it up again for ruthless, cynical and unilateral environmental policy

you know you want cheap gas no matter what, so you just keep on chanting ‘Drill, Baby Drill’

isn’t the tax break wealth trickling down off the rich from above lifting your boat, too?

so, let’s see, all sudden, you’re all like up in arms, after years of a placid bovine acceptance?

look, it was too late when you thoughtlessly spent that first of too many liar’s home equity loans

now you swell up with a righteous indignation - why you stupid pompous fools: just whoa up, now

hush up and go back to work so you can make that minimum payment on your credit card debt

hey, you still heed their phony call for newer weapons and bombs and more troops every year

take a good closeup look at their madeup, smiling/lying faces before they repo that rental HDTV

you liked the homey jingles they taught those shiftless, reborn, alcoholic, druggie draft dodgers

whose fault is it really that you’re a lazy, ignorant, self-absorbed, unhealthy and penniless chump?

stifle your whining so you don’t choke on the huge and bitter pills that you must swallow at last

diligently try to refocus on wasted shopping and really concentrate on their empty corporate sports

dont get all like huffy, as if you were so slickly conned that you couldn’t have seen it coming

fall asleep in front of the TV again as more of that waxy fat congeals inside your hardened arteries

spare me and just do like them: go take it up silently, in private, with your do-it-yourself savior

but, dont Even dwell on the mess you created as you gaze down on your precious sleeping children

whoa up with that new consternation: you were part of the braindead majority every step of the way

you endorsed printing money for unfunded, go-it-alone, cowboy-crusader, exceptionist adventurism

you sat still as their oil firms made energy policy while funneling your gas cash over to the terrorists

on your back from the sofa, you laughingly approved their sarcastic denial of honest science

at last you finally see we cant throw the sand high enough out of the hole you let them dig us into

ok, so lets hear your reactionary plan to mistakes you so unthinkingly encouraged for decades on end

old humpty-dumpty lies there now, so why don’t you just try and put him back together again, stud

nah, just lay back for some more TV: you need lots of energy to suckup hard at work again tomorrow

relax, there’s probably a safe, quick and inexpensive fix for this multi-trillion dollar deficit, anyway

and youre still too cowed by the hucksters to even think we spend way, way too much on the military

yes, you let those homey, libertarian, oligarchic ‘folks’ just run amok and now you get to pay

whoops, you bought all the smartly-smarmy copy their donors paid to have written for them to read

but you’re still too tough to hug a tree and too smart to go in depth with them phony, elitist squishes

and that old tax and spend is so tired and failed compared to the new borrow and mortgage

you supported wondrously unaffordable healthcare choices from their rigged marketplace

your pitiful retirement savings are ransacked by those bailed-out but unregulated investment banks

frack dude! don’t get all like bent out of shape just cause you cant afford to warehouse your mom

don’t worry: your ignorant, tattooed little darlings were born to take your place as world leaders

just keep kneejerking with that tried and true it’ll be too expensive and cost us jobs slogan

know in your heart that exercise is a waste of time and raw veggies and whole grains just suck

this aint the time to go flip-flopping either, just try to hang on to that hateful, nowhere job

hey, home prices will be coming back and you can count on that money for your golden years 

in the meantime, there’s lots of sure-fire, low-risk, high-return investments out there for you now

keep going with your gut on this grab for the gusto, live for today, buy-now-pay-later lifestyle

yup, you led the highlife on negative savings rates, financing your lifestyle on credit and equity

so, now you can figure out how to strategically default on the mess they’ve got us in, fat boy

but remember: nothing short of total victory will satisfy the brave sacrifice of our loyal troops

maybe your savior has some more ideas, you best waddle off now and babble with him some more