Gas Is Still Too Cheap

They keep gunning them fatass pickups like overstuffed race cars so, yup, gas must still be too cheap

Know that’s true when I see them all idling in the ATM drivethrus sippin lattes with the A/C on high

Since prices keep going up, we must still be getting a real bargain on the World’s Finest Healthcare

Proud and ignorant patriots keep getting fatter so it looks like factory food also costs a bit too little

God-fearing folks are still threatened by gun-controlling socialists so we must not waiver in our faith

They continue flicking them fricking dirty butts all over which says to me smoking should cost more

Millions of gallons of too-cheap water still wastefully rinse BigAg poisons into our drinking supply

Sometimes almost hear their elitist propaganda so we need to turn up freedom’s channel a bit more

Not everyone knows all the jingles by heart yet so we need to try and increase our media penetration

The Okies keep making lots of new ATV trails in their Colorado forests, so, eyeh, gas is still too cheap

Since we throw away ½ a million bags per minute, it’s obvious that they should cost just a little…

Kids are texting so at least some form of literacy remains to their surely-brighter-than-ours tomorrow

There’s still lots of room in Texas so we’re morally obliged to keep on being fruitful gospel spreaders

Not everything is duplicated in Spanish yet and you know, that really is bringing us all closer together

Rightwingers continue tossing aluminum, glass and plastic away as a real Traditional Family Valueä

Fastbuck developers still find it cheaper to rip up farmland than to rebuild their decayed cheap shit

Miners and drillers remain more concerned with costly regulations than about their poisoned messes

They still think teeny cars rob them of their manhood so they drive giant SUVs to jobs in tiny cubicles

Not everyone is dumbed-down enough yet to uncritically parrot each and every fake news headline

Only half of our graduates caint read so there’s still not enough kids being shoved up from behind

Opinion polls prove that climate change remains just the costly hoax of a few crackpot pergressives

We let our vampire electro-gizzies suck energy 24x7 so there’s room for increases in electrical rates

Us fat, proudly-ignorant, couldnt-have-beens still mount our blessed loud Harleys, so there, by god!

Keep seeing lots of drunken jetski mayhem so the water’s still too clean and gas remains too cheap

40% of babies are bastards so we must more forcefully deny these sinners the evils of birth control

They still wont drive over 5 hours and stand in line longer than all night for a little free dental care

Some of the debt-ridden outsourced have not cowboyed-up to their Self-Responsibility Kool-Aid, yet

So far, not all of us are dumbed-down quite enough to swallow all their lame pre-digested soundbites

There’s still a few of the underclass that don’t believe that tax cuts for the rich trickle down to them

Some idolaters remain convinced that the government should keep subsidizing single-parent litters

Not everyone has totally rejected reason for unshakeable faith yet, so good work still remains for us

TV must be way too cheap cause they keep paying $100 a month to just keep it locked right on Fox

Since we can still afford the million$ per year-per soldier overseas, we can keep exporting freedom

Gotta keep on subsidizing corn syrup cause there’s citizens without any diabetes for us to pay for yet

Bound to keep our guard up what with new job-killing regulations being floated each and every day

They still assure us their people are most precious and we keep trusting they’ll create good new jobs