Plain-Spoken, Common Sense Distortion

As I sat, forced to listen to your pitchmen, it struck me hard that you guys do have it all figured out

I couldn’t think of anything to say that might contradict the script you all memorized so very well

Your boys met all of my puke objections like the finest of well-oiled used car sales teams

But strangely, though your solutions were attempted, it looks like all the problems still remain

You fellows acted so convincingly and I, all by myself, could find no flaws anywhere in your logic

It seemed that elitist charlatans led us from the righteous path we were always meant to follow

My ill-considered complaints and overly-complex details were quickly and cleanly brushed aside

It hit me that, now the only impediment to your success was the mere obstinacy of my brothers

You had covered all of your bases well and you had left not a single marketing stone unturned

You had a full portfolio of solutions tailored to preserving cherished families and precious freedoms

Your answers reinforced one another and they all buttressed an unassailable logical framework

Nonetheless, I cannot escape this vague unease at the prospect of your uncontrolled ascendancy

I pick up on the great confidence and pride you project in all your plain-spoken pronouncements

That your ideas are firmly grounded in good old-fashioned common sense is just so abundantly clear

Your teams are well-disciplined and razor-sharp in their execution of costly multimedia campaigns

Yet I remain baffled by the numbers who still stubbornly balk at adopting your brave prescriptions

You have pithy aphorisms and catchy slogans backed by short but potent multimedia bites

‘Research’ foundations with noted spokesmen support your platform with contracted position papers

Your scathing critiques of the flaws and foolishness of the other side are all quite well-publicized

Sadly, for all of your hard work you have achieved at best, a bitter and acrimonious stalemate

You adopted the family as your mascot and pledged to uphold the Traditional Values® you created

Reciting God Bless America after every speech keeps His self-selected people on your side

Why then is there not a majority movement racing towards your common sense side of the spectrum?

Maybe that awful fake news media is somehow distorting your good message in realtime as you speak