Ask Your Doctor About

"I mean, people have access to health care in America. They can just go to the emergency room." – George Bush

Ask your caregiver why his fees must inevitably rise twice as fast as everything else, every year

Talk to your doctor about his new cars, private planes and royally-spoiled kids at the finest schools

Have him tell you about all the selfless pro-bono work he does for fully half a day nearly every month

Get him to describe those usurious insurers and that fraud-ridden government Medicare system

Make him a list of the 300 conditions you may just have, but you never heard of before the glitzy ads

Let him explain why our medical system, second rate at best, is by far the costliest on the planet

Hear why practicing prevention instead of Pay-Per-Service is the steep slope to socialism

Then, learn how free-market competition is the only route to a values-based universal healthcare

Ask your plastic surgeon about his solemn Hippocratic contribution to the betterment of our society

Have him explain why they need to make so much for sacred work they swore they would do for free

Ask for some of the free samples he sells and the kickbacks he get from the Big Pharma salesmen

Just try to find out if your insurance covers something before both they and the doctor bill you

See if they’ll tell you how much they make on every test they order for you, necessary or not

Ask why they need so much money for doing such noble, fulfilling, interesting and useful work

Ask your doctor about the many physicians lives that were shattered during the Great Recession

Get an explanation of how simply slashing benefits would reduce waste, fraud, inefficiency and costs

Find out why life expectancy and infant mortality are worse here even though we pay so much more

Be sure to internalize their gospel regarding faceless death panels and government grandma killing

But, simply disregard that we already ration treatment by pricing more out of insurance every day

Learn how simple tort reform and interstate insurance competition would surely make it All Better

Make sure to proudly ignore whatever any and all irrelevant foreign countries do for their sick

Never forget that healthcare is an industry and, as such, does best without government nannying

Universal access to doctors aint even a constitutional right – but, by our grace, you may go to the ER

Demand to choose your physician and cultivate that relationship though he mispronounces your name

Be sure and learn about the wastefully socialistic consequences of some evil single-payer system

Ask your doctor how he rakes in so much but contributes less to public health than a garbageman

Find out how specialist pimp perqs guided the treatment referral he just wrote out for you

Learn how a quarter million in education debt motivates them to provide affordable care for us

Study the ways their tax-deductible ski-resort product seminars benefit healthcare consumers

Discover the dangerous public health menace posed by nurse practitioners and physician assistants

Realize that Do no harm has been guiltlessly conflated with Do nothing without their insurance card

Understand that the inability to find good BMW mechanics reduces practitioners in rural areas

Become aware of the necessity of spending 20 cents of every GDP dollar on the healthcare vampire

Help your doctor preserve his right to focus on heavily-advertised and high-profit Mommy Makeovers

Learn about the benefits of payment plan gastric bypasses over healthy diets and a little exercise

Ask how pushing cost increases onto patients could really end Medicare waste, fraud and inefficiency