I refuse to see any stuff that’s not in black or white - I
ignore them confusing colors and blurry grays
Don’t want no vague probabilities or inconclusive
correlations – Dammit, a simple Yes or No will do
It just comes down like this one more time – We’re against
them unless and until they see it our way
God bless the reassuring truth in ‘The only right way to
do this is…’, for them overcomplicated issues
We’ll stay with the hard and fast WordaGod over some
crackpot theories of acupla wacko scientists
But, that there Survival Of The Fittest does prove
winners take all on His earth, under our dominion
Its either clearly black or white or it’s just really
boring, stupid and we can all make fun of it
Hey! Can the frickin conflictin evidence and get on with the
abridged executive action summary
Got no time to consider multiple unclear distinctions or
various superfluous overlapping alternatives
Hurry up with the takeout
conclusion and dont confuse me with them messy slaughterhouse details
And dont forget that, to spare us any guilt, our faith-based
decisions must never need to be reviewed
Back off with your junk research…all we need to decide are
family values laced with literal scripture
Like our forefathers said why, way, way back then in
the 60s: Budro, you can either love it or leave it
If our ordained mouthpieces allege that it could cost us any
jobs or money, well, Im right up aginst it
Look, you can't have everything, so just narrow it down to
two clear choices and make up your mind
Anyways, data and options overload is really just one more
LibSoch tactic of them godless NewAgers
We can always ask what would jesus do, and come up with a
straight answer outta the good book
Reconsideration, ambiguity and ambivalence are the
squirrelly dodges of them moral flip-floppers
Besides, our faith ensures our decisions are free of all
crippling doubt and wasteful reconsideration
Therefore, we demand the simplified moral clarity of a
sharia-like but bible-based resolution process
Skip the footnotes, references, formulas and complicated
graphs just gimme the ordained takeaway
Anyway, it’s dangerous to even hear their artificial shades
of meaning as the devil owns their tongues
If they say it was good enough for our unknown yet
fictionalized ancestors, it’ll still work right for us
Just give us that musical HD videobite endlessly repeating a
simple catchphrase and we’re good ta go
The pride they encourage in our illiteracy nurtures our
scoffing contempt at ever going into depth
We reject the elite who dare to scorn the patriotic lowest
common denominator in news and analysis
We’ll take wicked terrorist demons over complex op-eds, long
sentences and big words, anytime
But just remember we need a colorful spin to explanations to
avoid any troubling contradictions
We simply dont trust those who confuse us with too many
alternatives and overly-subtle distinctions
And dont forget to drench us only in simple but
emotionally-charged, vitally-unimportant issues
Calm and reasoned debates are for those constantly wavering
and absolutely spineless squishes
In any case, spurious shades of meaning simply taint the
faith-based truth for which we so thirst
Listen, there aint any choice besides heaven or hell right?
So that’s how everything else should be
For the devil really is down in them confusing and
conflicted, bogus and unnecessary details
So hush up your messy contradictions now so that we can
unconsciously and blissfully ignore them
Give us that short, shouted slogan backed with a slick 30 second music video and
we’re good to go
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