We hold the gravity of these ignorant and selfish
concerns to be self-evident
Gas must remain artificially-cheap that we may commute like
overstuffed sausages in giant roadhogs
Never shall taxes be increased to pay for costly,
tried-and-failed, bleeding-heart social programs
Nitwit foolishness such as this pukish recycling nonsense
usurps our hallowed individual freedom
And abortion shall remain foremost among the violations of
our savior’s will which must be rectified
The omnipotent blind hand of the free market shall be our
blunt tool in repairing all societal issues
Gun control must come to mean simply that wives and children
hold steady aim at intended targets
Without reflection, we remain unflinchingly positive that This
is ThE greatest country on the planet
Fool intrusions into private enterprise like mercury limits
on power plants simply cannot be tolerated
We shall strive to bring God into our government while
keeping its regulators out of our businesses
Our borders have to be secure but we must hire workers for
those jobs real Americans just won’t do
High taxes and intrusive rules kill the patriotic initiative
of our bold, job-creating entrepreneurs
Our children shall lead the world despite their pathetic
global status in reading, math and science
Bringing prayer to school ranks right up near the top of any
list of the most important issues we face
Government-run bureaucrat-controlled Death Panels must never
control our choice of a family doctor
Global Warming is just an unproven, junk science theory -
Undeserving of any government concern
Our leaders must make the important decisions in private
conversations with their personal saviors
Always remember that the bible plainly states: Marriage is a
contract between a man and a woman
It goes without saying that we must outgun them all combined
or be overrun by the godless heathen
We always have time to eat and drink while watching
Football, for it truly reinforces our core values
Black-or-White, Right-or-Wrong, Heaven-or-Hell: That’s how
we counter this elitist overcomplication
It is our god-given right to as many children as we see fit
without training or income to support them
Texans epitomize the laissez-faire, ignorance-braced
lifestyle that we should all be striving to attain
Government does best out of the way sos to let SmashAndGrab
MultiNats rule from corporate closets
We must soldier on until that over-reaching, job-killing EPA
is abolished and all its rules rolled back
Resolved: Our right to idle alone thru long drive-thru lines
in 9 passenger SUVS shall not be abridged
Inexpensive meat, however produced, is going to remain front
and center at all our family dinners
We must hold the line against overreaching so-called investments
in whatever socialist infrastructure
Rich conservatives are obviously the ones who have the best
interests of working people at heart :}
Scientific debates with donor implications can best be
decided via slanted twitter opinion polls
Anonymized, sociopathic corporate clones in expensive suits
are ideal for closet national stewardship
Obesity, high blood pressure and diabetes are matters of
personal responsibility, not public health
We must promulgate our morality globally thanks to our god’s
assigning us this Exceptionist role
It makes economic sense to live for free in homes with
underwater loans sunk by drawing out equity
Everyone agreed social security was nearly solvent so
naturally its payroll tax funding was cut
Permanently passing all cost increases onto patients will
obviously fix our broken healthcare system
Loyal
OutSourcers are striving to bring back middle class jobs for our deserving,
talented workforce
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