Friday, February 8, 2013

The Good Work Conservatives Are Doing For Us All

Obviously, the cost of even trying to mitigate this climate change hoax was utterly preposterous
Keeping oil prices low cuz they threaten the forever-fragile recovery of the worlds Greatest Economy
These damn union teachers are totally responsible for our children’s ignorance and they got to go
We have taken those so-called infrastructure investments off the table for the foreseeable future

Look, we all demand big budget cuts - including social security, medicare & welfare, but not defense
Got any tax increases off the table in secret right up front so now we’re ready for real negotiation
We demand the absolute cheapest meat possible and faceless robo-conglomerates supply just that
Got our eternal salvation on a weekly payment plan down to the mega-church, so that’s all set

Yes, we clearly understand our divine imperative to maintain perpetual arms spending increases
Everybody now, 1-2-3: Jobs, Jobs, Jobs! No New Taxes! Drill, Baby Drill! Got it? Good. That is all…
We simply refuse to believe we pay much more to get less from ThE Worlds finest healthcare system
We been freed from the sticky net of elitist propaganda thanks to our slick talking-head demagogues

Got all the warning signs up about swimming or eating fish, so the clean water thing is off the table
Anyway, we only drink New Jersey spring water and toss the plastic bottles, so what’s the problem?
Defaulted on the credit cards and wisely walked away from the home loans so that’s behind us now
Haven’t forgotten the fact that loud pickups and obese SUVs are revered Traditional Family Values™

We reflexively reject attempts to regulate our rights to such necessities as automatic weapons
We’ll outlaw birth control but condemn the tiny bastards to hell since their mothers were whores
Our freedom recipe is a preemptively-defensive war of liberation, a rigged election and McDonalds
Finally crushing their family-threatening endangered species and habitat preservation nannying

Bringing Christ into government and getting evilution and sex-ed the hell out of our schools, Yesiree
Yup, we’re through lettin them tell us not to eat fastfood and go do like boring exercise and stuff
Anyhow, we can see we got enough clean coal right here for a thousand years of our energy needs
With God’s help, we’ve completely tuned out the moral relativists as well as the heathen foreigners

Really aint no contest at all between family jobs and unnecessary costs versus animals, air and trees
It’s really hard not to laugh when they whine about the suffering of like cows, pigs and chickens!
We’re done with their unpaid infringement on our liberty of picking thru filthy trash called recycling
Hey, Hey, Hey! - the damn EPA is goin away, right on along with that wack Endangered Species Act

Well, I got no savings, know I need to work til 80 but cant find a job at 50: Yup, got that goin now
The outsourcers have promised us tomorrow’s good new jobs so we’re on unemployment til then
The real message is that we should be angry, and so we are: All the time - at their sponsors enemies
As for the real tough decisions - I make them guilt-free in private dialogues with my personal savior

Given: We absolutely must keep enhancing our position as thE greatest military force on thE planet
It’s obvious that free enterprise moves blindly to assure good healthcare for pretty much everyone
Gonna get them jobkillers in Washington off our western lands despite their rigged opinion polls
We only hafta keep repeating ‘God Bless America’, the greatest country on earth, to keep it goin

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